Medicine Moon: Risks and rewards on the solo path

Dream Record: I was in a ceremony with my practitioner which seemed to be focused on Aya. There were other people I knew there, including a medicine sister with whom I had recently spent quality time with. We were preparing for ceremony, and there were people dying or who were going to be dying, specifically, a fair-haired man lying next to me. I realized I didn't want to be dying in the ceremony. "I want to live," I said. I got up and went to another room with the intention of not dying in ceremony. 

A women gifted me gold crescent moon jewelry to wear around my neck. There were bands playing death metal and one of them was called "Pig from Austin." I was feeling like the whole energy of the ceremony was somewhat sinister, marked by a dark room dark with red effect lighting. 

The medicine friend was supposed to be picking me up or driving me back somewhere and she said she couldn't in a way that was slick of her, and I would have to find another ride. I admired the way she was able to communicate effectively without offending me. I was still left to my own devices and okay with it since I didn't think we should be spending more time together at that time.

 
Signature: Jennifer C. Clemente, June 25, 2023

Initial interpretation: I'm grappling with the notion of setting boundaries, especially around medicine circles where there is a need for a high degree of trust and communication. I'm also feeling like there's an opening to do more solo shadow work away from my primary relationship and being forced into that uncomfortably, yet a part of me feels okay with it at the same time. 

Conscious concerns: I went to the Psychedelic Science conference looking to discover the intersection between psychedelics, preparing for end of life and dreamwork, and that intention set the stage for this dream. During the week, I was dealing with aspects of my real-life partner not being as present as I wanted or expected, but was gifted with the presence and companionship of the medicine sister in the dream. 

On the last day, we both, together with another sister, attended a Hape ceremony where the amount and strength of the Tsunu-Tobacco blend was too strong for me, causing me loss of breath for what felt like a minute. This was followed by four hours of purging every which way, and feeling excruciatingly uncomfortable. 

My mind went into trying to rationalize what happened, and settled on a possible miscommunication between myself and the medicine server. The message of "getting what you need rather than what you want," rang strongly for me. Having taking place during this medicine moon, or waxing crescent moon phase, seemed auspicious, as if divinely timed, to be doing this purging/clearing.

Key words and symbols: 
Medicine ceremony: Doing deep shadow work. A place of risk and reward. 
Practitioner: Relating to an aspect of learning to trust when it comes to medicine work.
Medicine Sister: Relates to another aspect of growth and learning, knowing when to invite and when to relax out of.
Preparing: Learning, getting ready, building intentions.
People dying: Related to end-of-life preparation workshop and death doula content I was consuming at the conference.
Didn't want to be dying: Concern for personal safety while doing shadow work.
Speaking "I want to live.": Asserting my own desires to control the outcome, or change the future.
Another room: Taking action to move away from place of discomfort on my own accord.
Woman gifting gold crescent moon jewelry: Relates to my connection with Inanna, who rules over this moon phase. 
Bands playing death metal:  Unpleasant and uncomfortable, not what I was expecting. 
Pig from Austin: Relates to negative feelings about greed gone rampant in Austin.
Admiring friend's communication: Aspect of myself I'm in relationship with that can communicate boundaries and avoid conflict.
Being forced find a ride home: Being left to my own devices to figure things out without a supportive partner. 

Interpretation: Putting myself into uncomfortable experiences has as much risk as reward. In this case, I am acknowledging a valuable aspect of  personal identity that is linked to growth, change, potential, or feminine energy. Change is not pleasant and certainly uncomfortable, but will be rewarding for my personal growth. This same message came through another dream during the new moon cycle about being guided to walk an ice path at the North Pole. 

Application: Embrace the opportunity to do the work. Consider making a solo road trip north to see the practitioner featured in the dream to work on this dream in person.